I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
