were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
