A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
