Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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