try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
