I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
