i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
