You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
