The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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