I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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