Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
