You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
