Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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