Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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