Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
