The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
