it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
