so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
