Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm bleeding and have questions
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
