are you still at the devil's house?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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