Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Drunk is not a location!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
