i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
