So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
