During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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