STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
