my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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