I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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