Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sorry my hands just texted you
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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