This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
