I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
