a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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