Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
