Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
