I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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