i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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