No, you can still breathe under the balls.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
