All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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