she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
