PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
