My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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