He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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