he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
