so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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