my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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