My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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