I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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