Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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