he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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