flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
