if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
