You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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